The Janky Wheel Summer and The Not Janky Turkey Burger
Summertime 2020 was epic, one for the record books. In my mind, I will always think of it as the "janky wheel" summer.
COVID-19 kicked in full-tilt boogie. Instead of grills, bikinis, and tiki torches, we searched for hand sanitizer, toilet paper, ground beef, and normalcy.
What is more normal than whipping the old Chevy truck down to the local grocery and loading up the janky wheel cart with some burger fixin's? Maybe only the purchasing of toilet paper for our homes.
For a brief window in time during the summer of 2020, these items were unavailable due to the virus sweeping our nation. I don't know about y'all, but for me, this was a "What-the-actual-Hell" moment.
I remember thinking to myself as I pushed my empty and creaking janky wheel cart through the store, that I would be damned if I were going to be denied the small pleasure of summertime hamburgers. With all the crazy happening in the world, it would not be hamburgers - or the lack thereof - that tipped me over the edge.
Something had to be done. It was time to use all my Southern woman, turn-the-water-into-wine, hard-scrabble resilience into a plan of attack.
Two things happened almost simultaneously. Firstly, I realized that I may, in fact, be the crazy person you hear Southerners talk about trotting out on the front porch for the world to see. And second, it occurred to me that I was flinging ground turkey into my janky wheel cart with wanton abandon.
Never in my life have I been a fan of turkey burgers, especially in place of a real 100% all-beef burger. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I possessed a deep and loathing hatred of the turkey burger and that even speaking it aloud into the universe, it rolled off my tongue with a little spit.
I am not opposed to turkey being a healthier option in our daily lives, but I am opposed to food that does not taste good.
Up until this point, I had never had a turkey burger that tasted good. Please hear me, People of the Page, when I say to you that life is just too short to eat bad food.
After much soul searching, profanity, and necessity-being-the-mother-of-all-invention, I was able to create a recipe for turkey burgers that not only passes as edible but will get that slapping arm and foot-stomping reflex crunk-up.
I am thrilled to share it with y'all and to say that even in the darkest of times, there is hope. Good exists in the worst of situations, and as long as we keep pushing that creaking janky wheel cart forward, we are going to be alright.
Not Janky Turkey Burgers
Ingredients
1 lb. package ground turkey (look for 85-15% ratio)
8 oz. package mushrooms (I like baby bellas, but any mushroom is fine), chopped
1 small yellow onion, chopped
1- 5 to 6 oz. container of blue cheese crumbles (if you do not like blue cheese you can leave out or cut back on amount)
2 heaping TB ketchup
1 TB chopped garlic (glass jars in the produce section)
1 TB Worcestershire sauce
1 TB red wine
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 egg, beaten
½ cup Panko breadcrumbs
Olive Oil
Lawry's Seasoned salt
Directions
Heat a skillet or saute pan with just enough olive oil to cover the bottom (2-3 tablespoons). You want it hot, but not smoking. Add onions and mushrooms; cook until onions are translucent. Remove from heat and let cool for about 5 minutes; add the entire mixture to a food processor (do not drain the oil) and pulse until mixture is fine but not a paste.
In a separate bowl, add all the remaining ingredients and mix well with hands. Once thoroughly mixed, add mushroom mixture and combine well. The mixture will seem a little wet to you, and that is fine. If you want the burgers to have a texture close to a beef hamburger, add just a little more Panko. Patty out just like you would a regular hamburger.
To cook, I use a hot cast iron skillet with just a touch of olive oil in the bottom. Sprinkle both sides of each burger with the Lawry's seasoned salt.
The burgers will form a nice crust, so do not worry - they are not burning. These need to be cooked all the way through since we are using turkey and cooking times will vary.
Use any bun you like and dress with any topping you like. There are no rules. It should be fun to make and taste good.
The burger in the photo is dressed with a blueberry chipotle mayo (½ cup mayo, 1 chipotle pepper-pureed, and a tablespoon or so of blueberry jam), honey bacon strips, shredded lettuce, thin-sliced peaches, and pickled red onion.